walking up to the register

i saw the cashier

a bit of an awkward, gawky type

with kind eyes and a worried face

who didn’t appear to have a lot of self-confidence

having just finished with a customer

he was ready to deal with my order.

his head was down

  i said hello

he looked at me and said

“that last customer told me to smile.

he has no idea how hard it is for me

how hard it is to be here right now

no idea what im dealing with

what i’m going through

how it’s a miracle i’m even here

it would be really hard for anyone

 i have to be here until midnight

this is just the beginning of my shift.”

as he quietly told me this

tears began to slowly roll down his face

 he grabbed a box of tissues to wipe them away

all the while continuing to check me out.

 we bagged my things together

as he went on –

“they told me to hold in my emotions

but i think its okay to show them

what’s wrong with that, i think it’s a good thing?”

when he finished with my order

his manager came over

with a compassionate and not angry face

without a word

took over his register

i thanked him for helping me

 agreed that it’s certainly okay to feel and express things

 told him that i hope things will get better

 he walked off in silence and punched out

i hope that he takes a long break

 goes home for the day

 whatever he needs

 has someone waiting for him who will support him

i don’t think he wanted an answer from me

just wanted me to listen

to acknowledge his humanity

his struggles, his emotions

 tell him that it was okay for him to feel and express them

i hope he is back when i stop in for my weekly grocery shop.

i hope that things are better.

—

“tears come from the heart and not from the brain.”

-leonardo da vinci