in all of the my recent time spent in the various forests and habitats

and all of my encounters with flora and fauna

(with each of them having powers much stronger than mine)

i never once had a situation where they were aggressive

or when i had to defend myself against any of them

until

one night in a rain forest hotel

with screened windows for an open cross breeze

perfect for sleeping

i at last laid down exhausted on my bed

only to feel something flying near my face

 jumping up and turning on a light

i noticed quite a few flying ants

buzzing around my room

and some walking ants marching around

who i strongly tried to encourage to leave my space

and then every time i would feel like i was in charge

i’d see a couple more casually strolling or flying by

from the corner of my eye

so i tried to figure out how they had gotten in

and to find the source

and i remembered the humans telling us

not to leave our doors open for more than a minute

as all of the bugs, and perhaps a mammal, would feel free to visit

and i remembered talking to a fellow traveler

with my door open

just before going in to sleep

so perhaps the ant leaders and their minions had taken that as a welcome

as i looked around the room

i noticed some of the flying ones stuck inside of my lampshade

no doubt waylaid when trying to ‘go to the light’

and the crawling ants seemed to be heading to my extra pillow

to join others who got their early to hang out in its case

so i knew i had to take drastic measures

survival skills kicked in

and i took the entire ant nightclub/pillow, case and all

and threw it in the shower

turned the water on high for a bit

(was i trying to drown them?)

and then tried to close them in the bathroom

by haphazardly/half-assedly (if it was a word)

closing the door and using bath towels to fill in the cracks

with a small crack to let a bit of light out to watch for others

not the best plan

(was i trying to imprison them?)

and finally went to sleep

with one last solo flyer buzzing by

just to make his point

and when i woke up in the morning

none were to be found walking around or flying by

all was quiet on the front

i’m sure they were resting after all of their late night hijinks

but i’m guessing whoever came to clean my room later

might wonder why i had a drenched bed pillow in a case hanging to dry in the shower

with the door closed and towels all used

and why my lampshade was filled with dried flyers

and if i get a bill for a replacement pillow

one day when i least expect it

perhaps in 3 years and a day

i will happily pay the bill

 it would be a small price to pay

for winning my battle

and the ants are probably laughing it off somewhere

knowing they actually won the battle

with only a few downed soldiers left behind

and would find a new place to party the next night.

no doubt with replacements.

and the howler monkeys screeched out ‘good morning’ as only they can do.

“bugs are not going to inherit the earth. they own it now. so we might as well make peace with the landlord.”

-thomas eisner