the smile that was a natural occurring part of the marble wall welcoming me into the ladies room )
—
“a smile is the universal welcome.”
-max eastman
Sep14
Category Archives: humor
Jul7
mugs.
met my dear friend at a recently reopened local diner
for breakfast and a long overdue catch-up
mid-breakfast she noticed the variety of cups they used
all from other sources
mine was covered with the logo of an alcoholic beverage
hers bore the name of a blood pressure/heart medication
luck of the draw, kind of like a fortune cookie
can make or break your whole day
we had a great laugh and talked about
how we both choose our morning mugs for coffee depending on our moods and needs
each morning we seek out and grab, without much conscious thought, the mug we need to start that day
do we reach for –
the inspirational-phrased mug, the heavy mug, the ego-boosting mug, the gift mug, sentimental mug, the deep thought mug, the light as a feather delicate china mug with the flora or fauna, art mug, clean mug, favorite place mug, photo mug, travel mug, joke mug, big mug, little mug, ironic mug, two-hands needed mug, favorite color – shape – size, ceramic, plastic, paper, metal, glass, unbreakable mug?
i knew we were friends for a reason.
—
“i have a mug that actually verifies that i’m the world’s best dad.
that’s a mug. that’s not me talking.
you can’t just buy those.”
-stephen colbert
Apr19
please don’t ask for extra glasses.
it is my great pleasure to introduce you
to humor writer and fellow blogger Barb Taub’s latest book
PLEASE DON’T ASK FOR EXTRA GLASSES
it’s a rollicking tale of friendship, fun, travel to India adventure and misadventure
all taken with a tiny grain of salt and huge dose of humor
it’s a wonderful multi-cultural mashup of history, color photos,
travel tips, shopping advice, food suggestions, language and negotiation skills,
and chock full of ‘I wish we’d known that/what not to do lessons’
even if you never plan to travel to India, you’re sure to enjoy this read.
—
“she generally gave herself good advice, though she very seldom followed it.”
-lewis carroll
Apr2
genes.
genetics explained with gummy bears.
—
“i have all these great genes, but they’re recessive. that’s the problem here.”
-Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
—
image credit: Rogue NASA
Mar2
say my name.
i recently made a new recipe
and
finally used my worcestershire sauce!
like finding an old friend
nothing had really changed
still can’t pronounce your name
still in that familiar bottle
how nice to bump into you
so long until i see you again
whenever that might be.
—
“i’m pretty sure 2020’s safe word was
worcestershire sauce
and we couldn’t say it right.”
-T-laine
Feb10
*happy lmtwgrblkufgdw.
so happy to be celebrating
*Love Makes the World Go Round;
But, Laughter Keeps Us From Getting Dizzy Week: 8-14
i feel lucky to have a job that keeps me laughing.
who else gets to say/respond to such great things at work?
–
“you need to have pants on.”
“try not to touch every person in the room”
“i know you washed your hands this morning, but it is afternoon now.”
“fish don’t really like to be hugged.”
“try to bend your legs to sit on the sled, that is called making them stiff and that is different, try to bend…..”
“did you call me grandpa?”
“it’s important to have both shoes.”
“before we start we all have to promise not to cry if we don’t get to the candy castle first.”
“behind you is that way.”
“why did she call you beth?”
“if you put that in your nose, it might not come out.”
“your snowpants are backwards, let’s see if i can help you fix that.”
“you want to be called something new?”
“i’m pretty sure these are your boots because your parents put them in your bag and they have your name on them.”
“your mom is having a baby but you’re not supposed to tell anyone yet?”
“i’m not sure that ranch dressing is good to drink.”
—
each day is the best day ever.
never a day goes by without a laugh or ten.
—
image credit: puffin puff pastry, google images
Feb8
most obvious.
should we swim or play ice hockey today?
luckily this sign helps to make the decision easier.
—
“i try not to go the obvious route all the time,
but sometimes the most obvious is actually the best.”
-al yankovich
—
image credit: jim grampie, at gallup park, ann arbor
Nov16
mixed message.
fashion fad: mittens are the new shoes.
—
“organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.”
-a.a. milne
Sep24
wrong crowd.
somebody didn’t listen to their mother
and
‘got in with the wrong crowd.’
—
“it’s a dangerous business, frodo, going out your door.
you step onto the road,
and if you don’t keep your feet,
there’s not knowing where you might be swept off to.”
j.r.r. tolkien, The Lord of the Rings–
Sep23
tangled.
all went well on my annual visit to the doctor
except
for a bit of a ‘gown snafu’
(this picture does not even begin to do it justice)
when i went to put it on
i couldn’t tell
which side
was supposed to be inside or outside
there were pockets both inside and outside
snaps all over the place
numerous ties of various sizes and locations
parts of the fabric were tucked into each other
no matter how i configured it
it just didn’t seem designed
for any sort of human form
knowing that i was under a time crunch
i quickly tried a few different scenarios
the multitude of mini-snaps
were designed for the hands of fairy
ties were in illogical places
i somehow had to craft my own sleeves
feeling as though
i was in a speed design contest
or playing a party game
i finally just settled on my final look
kind of wrapping the whole thing around me
covering things
snapping things
tying things
when my doc came in she started laughing
saying
“you are sleeveless on one side
the front is in back
things are tied up all over”
she was impressed by my creativity
when i asked about the gown
she smiled and said
“it’s a cognitive test”
that’s why she’s so great
i hope she was kidding.
—
“when everything becomes tangled, you should make the choice.”
-roman simonyan
I didn't have my glasses on.... 