found on the car parked next to me
close call
appreciate the warning
will keep a safe distance
—
“never stay on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down to the green valleys of silliness.”
-ludwig wittgenstein
Aug6
Category Archives: humor
Jul31
strawberry shampoo does not taste as good as it smells.
i had asked my daughter
to pick out a nice shampoo and conditioner for me
was excited to get these
loved reading the labels
here are just some of the words/phrases on the packaging:
Resurrection
For weak, brittle hair that needs an intervention!
Damage Level – 3
Micro shields boost strength and stamina
Great results may cause your hair’s ego to inflate to astronomical proportions.
what?! ‘damage level -3’?!
i love the descriptors
who could resist even one of these?
and also there is so much little writing on the label
the shampoo and conditioner bottles look exactly the same
once i’m in the shower i have no idea which is which
and i always forget to look before i get in
and i’m not getting out to get my glasses on
so i have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, a roll of the dice
and sometimes i lose
this is what i call an ‘x-treme’ hair care experience.
—
“sorry I can’t hear you over the volume of my hair.”
-author unknown
Jul6
good humor.
nothing like seeing a good humor truck in the summertime.
what’s your personal go-to order?
i’m all about the ice cream sandwiches or strawberry shortcake bars.
—
“there is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”
-charles dickens
Jun30
alignment.
Bread bag alignment chart
i’m a hybrid of chaotic neutral and lawful evil, a razor’s edge of distinction between them.
what does this say about me?
which are you closest to?
—
“the things that bring you the greatest joy are in alignment with your purpose.”
-jack canfield
—
source credit: flowingdata.com
May31
midnight diner.
it’s not really a weekend at the lake house
with a group of friends
until someone
finds whatever they can
late at night
to saw through the plastic
and chop off a chunk of something in the kitchen.
—
“midnight happiness is eating at 2am”
-paridhi sinha
May29
not the light.
when people continue to push the wrong button
over and over and over again
attempting to turn out the light
opening the garage door instead
it’s clear they need more help
and calls for drastic measures.
they may not be sure what this is
but at least
they are now sure what it is not.
—
“there is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”
-sir arthur conan doyle
Apr15
#nopeepsleftbehind.
earth day is coming soon
how will you reuse, recycle, or repurpose
your peeps?
—
“uncommon thinkers reuse what common thinkers refuse.”
-j.r.d. tata
—
photo credit: google images
Apr6
would you believe…?
saw this (now vintage) ad
from my younger days
and wondered
how many of you still owe columbia house the $1.00?
i keep waiting for someone to come to the door
looking to take back my records or cassettes.
or the dollar that i never sent in.
—
“both my parents worked, so i was home alone a lot, and i would listen to their records.
they belonged to the columbia house record club, so they had records!”
-lyle lovett
Mar27
luposlippapaphobia.
word of the week
you never know when you might need this
it could be just the perfect word to describe your circumstances.
—
image credit – gary larson, the far side
Mar26
goofing off.
this is someone else (who is not me)
goofing off to celebrate one holiday,
while actively ignoring the clutter of the other holiday.
—
how incredibly lucky
that right after i realized it is
‘clutter awareness week’
i found out it is also
‘international goof off week’
so i decided to go all in on the goof off celebration.
i’ve never been one to shy away from honoring a holiday
but i can only spread myself so thin.
happy holidays to those of you who celebrate one or both.
—
“but i love to feel events overlapping each other, crawling over one another like wet crabs in a basket.”
lawrence durrell
—
image credit: animal rescue site news
