it’s the perfect day to follow a rogue leg down the road.
—
“if you don’t have a leg to stand on, you can’t put your foot down.”
-robert altman
Sep7
Category Archives: humor
Aug22
time travel.
grandie m
shared his formula
for time travel
with me
but has not come up
with a return formula
as of yet.
he even made me my very own copy.
i love the cover
and hopefully
everyone’s copy looks like this.
—
“the truth is, time travel is hard, and people are lazy.”
-margaret person haddix, Redeemed
Aug15
how hot is it?
my candle quietly answers the question.
—
“what dreadful hot weather we have!
it keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.”
-jane austen
Aug14
bogo.
looks like it’s buy one, get one free day.
i’ll take two.
—
“i have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”
-jackie mason
Aug11
rockette.
one of my daughter’s long-legged black cats
who i collectively refer to as ‘the nathans,’
enjoying a swing.
as of this posting,
he has never expressed a desire to be a dancer.
—
“just because you have long legs doesn’t mean you’ll be happy as a rockette.”
– nicholas lore
Aug3
on the road to mastery.
i asked two of the grandies
to go bike riding with me
but to have mercy
go easy on me
i haven’t been on a bike in two years
they are great riders
mountain bikers, road bikers, hill jumpers
all i wanted was to get my bike legs back
by starting on a flat surface
they were patient
told me some roads looked tricky
but i’d be okay
along the way they challenged me
and asked me if i could ride
using just 3 limbs, 2 limbs, 1 limb, no limbs?
(no to all)
with 4 limbs, a few minor crashes, tight turns,
near misses, and less than perfect balance
i survived the ride
and rode the next couple of days with them
each day i got a little sorer
but the ride got a little easier
they figured i’d get better by the end of the month
when i asked how they’d rate me as a rider
they told me that i began on the ‘terrible’ level
and had moved up to the ‘almost moderate’ level.
i took that to mean
‘almost mastery’ level.
—
“she who succeeds in gaining the mastery of the bicycle will gain the mastery of life.”
-susan b. anthony
Jul17
wits end.
“i would challenge you to a battle of wits, but i see you are unarmed.”
-william shakespeare
—
photo credit: gregory dukor/reuters, google images
Jul9
ninja vs. peaches.
when i received my ninja 1000
as a wonderful gift
i (aka peaches) was elated
ready to chop, dice shred, blend, puree..
but right from the beginning
it was clear that my ninja had the same plans for me
every time i used it
my fingers would somehow end up sliced
everyone i asked who had one
said this had never happened to them
and it was obvious to me
that the ninja was winning.
in my own ninja counter move
i have decided to pass him on
to another potential victim
with the user’s manual, a box of ‘my little pony’ bandaids,
and a wish to both of them for the best of luck.
*tangent: during this saga, i was reminded of the pink panther movies
where peter sellers and his manservant/ninja, cato
were constantly battling in surprise situations
in an effort to keep inspector clouseau in top form.
*Cato Fong is Clouseau’s Chinese manservant, trained to attack him regularly to keep him alert and skilled in martial arts. Cato and Clouseau have a love-hate relationship, with their fights being long and vicious, as well as destructive to the furniture, and always interupted by the telephone ringing, at which point they will become civil again. Cato puts a lot of effort into taking his employer by surprise, and Clouseau never really feels safe as Cato will stop at nothing. A running gag is Cato attacking Clouseau during a romantic moment, or else Clouseau going away and Cato transforming the apartment.
—
“only a ninja can stop a ninja”
-sho kosygin
—
credits: united artists, pink panther films
Sep14
organization.
to do list – style a:
play with the ponies 1.
pack the cars. 2.
go to bed 3.
get in the car to go on vacation 4.
do fun things 5.
—
a major contrast in approaches
both with the same desired outcome
two grandies
each with their own
style of list
and
way of getting ready
and
organizing things
to go on a trip.
—
to do list – style b:
(loose translation):
‘go around and around in a twisty circle and get some stuff done
and not some other stuff and then hide for a while
and eat something you find outside
and then get in the car to go on vacation and do fun things.’
—
(i am more of a ‘b-list style’ of organizer. what about you – a or b?)
—
“the process and organization leading up to cooking the egg
can tell you a lot about the cook.”
-david chang
Mar29
the dog is the god of frolic. – henry ward beecher
saw the listing below
in our city’s
rec and ed catalog
and
thought about
dogs
and how
they don’t really need
a class in this
it seems to come
quite naturally
to most of them
but
how great
it would be
for some
of the humans
to take this class.
—
the great pleasure of a dog
is that you may make a fool of yourself with him
and not only will he not scold you,
but he will make a fool of himself too.
– samuel butler
—
credits: youtube, ann arbor rec and ed department
I didn't have my glasses on.... 