Tag Archives: doctor

Mar12

the bad doctor.

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i went to a new doctor

a specialist with the first available appointment in our medical system

with good reviews

i’ve rarely had anything but positive experiences

 this one was quite the opposite

while he knew his subject

he had absolutely no understanding of human interaction

let alone skills in working with a patient

he was cocky, a know it all

i had to ask him all the relevant questions and tell him my history

as he never asked or offered suggestions

he was dismissive, scoffed at things i said

seemed doubtful that i would even follow through with recommended therapies

at one point

i came close to asking

“are you A.I.?”

even though he was present in the room with me

finally

i had his order for a physical therapist

the outcome i had hoped for

 along with my new massage therapist trainer

no need or plan to see him ever again.

he told me to return after 8 weeks

to see how the treatment was going

as he expected

that i wouldn’t get a p.t. appointment

for at least 2 weeks

what an inspirational guy

why did he ever chose to be a doctor?

as i left

i felt bad for all of the people still in the waiting room

hoping they would see him soon.

—

“the good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease.”

-sir william osler, canadian physician and one of the founding professors of Johns Hopkins Hospital

Dec15

sequence.

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it all began well and dandy

our school ny eve party was in the early minutes

changing out of my holiday llama pajamas

to head out for my annual doc checkup

zooming out and headed that way

until i wasn’t

when a road construction issue came into play

so i turned  up the music

waited it out

zoomed off again

finally got there

just a few minutes late

jumped out of the car

opened the back door to get something out

while also somehow slamming the front door shut

quickly felt something unexpected

ah, it was my finger closed in the front door

the wrong place to be

after i stared at it for a minute

i reopened the door, moved my hand, locked in back up

and headed in

noticing that it hurt and was beginning to change color

nurse took me right away

 he used to be a paramedic

while checking my vitals

i mentioned my finger

ah, they’ll probably be splinting it

my doc comes in

does my wellness interview and exam

all  good

i mention the finger

she sends me for an x-ray across the hall

when i come back

she suggests i get a flu shot while waiting

mentions that the receptionist

said i wanted to set up a covid booster shot

why not get it while i’m here?

paramedic nurse guy comes back

gives me both shots

says again that they’ll probably be splinting my finger

doc comes back in

says the x-ray shows

i fractured my finger

and it’s going to need a splint

paramedic nurse gives me a nod and smile

set up appointment for another x-ray in a week

 return to office in two weeks to see how it’s healing

doc calls me at home later

she reminds me

elevate, ice, motrin, splint

here i thought i was done for the year

how did this take such a turn?

sequences of events are always so fascinating when looking back.

–

“and now the sequence of events in no particular order.”

-dan rather, american newscaster

 

—

image credit: anne cevardi, osborn books

Dec29

boring.

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the doctor asked me

the usual litany of questions

general health, lifestyle, habits, history, medical issues

she was excited to find that i was not on any medication

her happiness continued on through the list of ‘red flag’ questions

as i answered no, no, no, rarely, on special occasions, safely, long ago

 heard myself reciting my answers

finally blurted out that i must be really boring

 she told me that is exactly what doctors want to hear

i made her day, but now i’m left wondering how to kick it up a notch. 

—

“everybody’s life can be a movie but most of such movies will be boring!”

-mehmet murat ildan

 

 

 

—

image credit: google images

Sep23

tangled.

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all went well on my annual visit to the doctor 

except 

for a bit of a ‘gown snafu’

(this picture does not even begin to do it justice)

when i went to put it on

i couldn’t tell

which side

was supposed to be inside or outside

there were pockets both inside and outside

snaps all over the place

numerous ties of various sizes and locations

parts of the fabric were tucked into each other

no matter how i configured it

it just didn’t seem designed

for any sort of human form

knowing that i was under a time crunch

i quickly tried a few different scenarios

the multitude of mini-snaps

were designed for the hands of fairy

 ties were in illogical places

i somehow had to craft my own sleeves

feeling as though

i was in a speed design contest

or playing a  party game

 i finally just settled on my final look

 kind of wrapping the whole thing around me

covering things

snapping things

tying things

 when my doc came in she started laughing

saying

“you are sleeveless on one side

the front is in back

things are tied up all over”

she was impressed by my creativity

when i asked about the gown

she smiled and said

“it’s a cognitive test”

that’s why she’s so great

i hope she was kidding. 

—

“when everything becomes tangled, you should make the choice.” 

-roman simonyan

Nov7

not exactly.

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imagine my surprise

just before undergoing

an out-patient medical test

listening to the waiver

read aloud to me

most of it

consisting of the usual

risks, percentages, side effects

 somewhere in the middle

i heard:

“medicine is not an exact science.”

best liability statement i have ever heard.

 

—

“i am dying from the treatment of too many physicians.”

-alexander the great

 

 

 

—

image credit: aspca.org

Sep12

hiding.

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someone must have tipped these two off
and told them
that they were going to see the vet today.
“you can keep as quiet as you like,
but one of these days somebody is going to find you.”
― haruki murakami
Aug8

glitter again/still.

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i went to the u of m dermo clinic

for my annual skin checkup

and remembered

just how thorough they were

when 3 different docs

checked me out. 

the first one asked,

“did you know that you have some glitter stuck to your back?’

the second one asked,

“how did you get glitter in your hair?”

and finally, the third, the resident doc asked,

“did you know that you have glitter on your feet?”

i think they all imagined that i’d been to a wild party

or secretly am a dancer as my second job

i really couldn’t attribute it to working with the kinders

now that it’s summer break.

i  told all of them that i wasn’t really surprised

that it’s always on me somewhere

thanked them for letting me know

and for another clean bill of health.

i think it lightened things up a bit in their clinic. 

—

“i must bridge the gap

between adolescent glitter and mature glow.”

-sylvia plath

 

 

 

 

 

—

image credit: instyle

Jan28

diagnosis.

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how lucky am i

that there is a veterinary hospital

right in my very own classroom

and a doctor from that hospital

ready to ‘doctor me’ and to offer a diagnosis:

“you do not have a heartbeat and you have a very small cavity.”

i am thankful for this 

and now that i understand

what is causing my foot to hurt

 i know exactly how to make it all better.

“if you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy,

keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor.”

-teri garr