local scarecrow goes down in the heat
and perhaps looks forward to a cooler season.
—
“if you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?”
-steven wright
Jul8
Tag Archives: humor
Jun9
wha?
after working hard all day
without taking a break to eat
tired and hungry and looking for the easy way out
i decided to just drive through the closest place
to get food to eat on my way home
trying to eat something healthy
was a quite a challenge based on the menu
ordered a small wrap without sauce and unsweetened iced tea
they repeated my order to me
i confirmed it and paid
got my order
slipped back into traffic and headed off
only to quickly discover
much to my dismay
they had actually
added extra sauce, a sugary fake honey mustard sort of thing to my wrap
and poured me a fully-sugared iced tea
was this a trick?
had i asked for my order in some other language that i was unaware of ?
did yes actually mean no?
was i a horrible communicator?
did i appear to need a sugar boost?
too tired and too much traffic to go back
but one of us in the equation was clearly confused
and perhaps both.
—
“the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
-george bernard shaw
—
image credit: pinterest
Jun6
ninjas don’t wear underwear.
as i walked in with one of the grandies to his ninja training class
and asked if he had everything he needed
before he scrambled off to
jump, climb, twirl, crawl, and yell
his deadpan answer was
“ninjas don’t wear underwear.”
i suspect that he created this rule
because he didn’t feel like putting them on
and he quickly adopted this as his mantra.
ninjas are clever.
—
“true ninjas are always outnumbered, because they are individuals.”
-jarius raphel
Jun1
bunny ponders.
bunny ponders how it is that
just last week
he was out in the open fields
rounding up cabbages, eating tall grasses, chasing bugs, free as the wind, and making merry,
only to find himself working in the restroom of a local establishment
from 9 to 5
this week
nowhere near as exciting
and not a tall blade of grass to be found.
—
“it’s diamonds in your pockets one week, macaroni and cheese the next.”
-jolene blalock
May30
tangles.
(not my sister but you get the idea)
—
my sister, p.
recently shared the following story
about her hair misadventure
and as sympathetic as i was
i could not stop laughing.
and could totally identify.
must have been nervous laughter
and gratitude that it wasn’t me.
—
p. had gone to have her hair cut and styled
the very adept stylist easily cut it and blew it dry
with just a round brush
and
it emerged
into a full and lovely natural style.
the next day
my sister decided that she could certainly do the same
so she armed herself with a blow dryer and big round brush
and had at it.
only –
the brush got stuck
very stuck
absolutely stuck
tangled in both directions
and it was immovable.
it was so bad
that she thought her only option
would be to cut it out
so she called the salon
explained the situation
they told her to come in for help
she drove through her small town
with the big round brush
still stuck on the side of her head
parked her car
walked down the sidewalk
past the local businesses and people on the street
with it still stuck on the side of her head
and into the salon once more.
not surprisingly
they guessed her identity the moment she walked in
the salon was very busy
but not so busy that the staff and their customers
did not have time to guffaw and laugh out loud
unable to restrain themselves
people tried not to make eye contact
they walked her through the salon to the very back
where the staff took turns working on it
in between clients
until it eventually
was worked off of her head
one hair at a time.
i totally get this.
—
“so many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.”
-gordon w. allport
—
image credit: google images
May28
one card short.
it’s well into the night
when it becomes apparent
that one of our players
has fully slipped into a
‘one card short of a deck’
state of mind
and announces –
“i can’t play anymore, all of my cards say the same thing.”
—
“as long as there are games to play it is not over. “
-alex ferguson
May20
i.d.
why yes, i’m happy to wait here all day while you check my i.d.
i’ll just stand right by this alert and tan in the glow of its light.
take all the time you need. i’ll hang out for a few minutes longer.
thanks so much for sending help.
does anyone else have this message on their screen?
oh?
you i.d. everyone?
great policy.
—
“i have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, i don’t have to.”
-albert einstein
May14
moms.
happy mother’s day
to all who do the mothering, have been mothered, or are in the circus.
sometimes it’s one and the same.
May5
cinco.
el gato hopes that you each enjoy the holiday in your own way.
=
“i will eat anything mexican – a sombrero, hacienda… anything.
they’ve perfected the combo of bread items and the grill. “
-tom delonge
—
image credit: google images
Apr30
high spirits and devilment.
I didn't have my glasses on.... 