Tag Archives: humor

does costco know something?

Standard
 costco’s readywise emergency kit has people worried 

While there’s plenty to love at Costco, like the salad kits, sheet cakes, and mini oreo cheesecakes, it has also been prone to some food controversy in the past, including the massive chocolate chunk cookies that were hurting people’s stomachs. Now Costco is stirring up emotions again with its new monster dinner kits that have customers worried the retailer is warning us the apocalypse may be coming.

Costco recently released the Readywise Emergency Food Supply Bucket, which features 150 servings of various food choices. Costco’s website lists the servings as “80 servings of hearty entrées & sides, 30 servings for nourishing breakfasts, and an additional 40 drink servings.”

For $80, this massive meal kit includes 12 servings each of pasta Alfredo, cheesy macaroni, brown sugar and maple multi-grain, apple cinnamon cereal, and 10 servings of white rice. You’ll also find 6 servings each of teriyaki rice, creamy pasta and vegetables, potato pot pie, tomato basil soup with pasta, chicken noodle soup, and crunchy granola. There are also 16 servings of vanilla pudding and orange drink mix, plus 24 servings of whey milk alternative.

The bucket has a 25-year shelf life thanks to being made with freeze-dried and dehydrated foods. You also only need to add water to eat or drink the items. Costco’s website explains that ease of preparation “isn’t just about simplicity; it’s about maintaining a sense of normalcy when the world around you might feel anything but normal.” Naturally, many wondered what this warehouse retailer was trying to get at.

One Instagram user posted about this latest Costco find, calling it the “Costco Apocalypse Dinner Kit, commenters quickly added their thoughts. One commenter asked, “Does Costco know something?” Someone else added, “If the apocalypse comes, where are you getting fresh water to prepare these dried meals?”

‘in ‘Shaun of the Dead,’ it’s not shaun’s fault that there’s a zombie apocalypse – he just has to get through the day.’ -edgar wright

 

 

source credits: costco, all recipes, carissa chesanek

mischief maker.

Standard

perfect branding.

what could possibly go wrong?

“the opportunity for doing mischief is found a hundred times a day, and of doing good once in a year.”

-voltaire

 

 

stoney cabin toyshop, elk rapids, mi, usa

land shark.

Standard

.

land shark!

here i thought they were only legends

saw them knocking on doors

way back in the day on saturday night live

have never crossed paths with one

until now

hopefully just passing through.

‘there’s a cardinal rule that you don’t talk about sharks. if you don’t see it, it’s not there.’

-mark warkentin, all-american open-water swimmer/coach

 

 

 

saturday. night live, 1975, nbc

when you can’t find your hundred or so cars.

Standard

rolling sculpture car show 
walked downtown to have lunch with my daughter and granddaughter
noticing a few cool cars
were slowly coming into town and parking on main street
interesting to see the mix
some new, some old, some not sure what they were
we guessed that more cars would arrive later for the show
imagine my surprise as i walked a different route home
just one street over
to see cars lined up as far as  the eye could see on both sides
ah, there they are
right behind us
 nothing gets by me
just another reason
why i chose to be a teacher
rather than a professional witness, detective, or spy.
‘i know a lot about cars, man. i can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming.’
-mitch hedberg

burnt toast.

Standard

this book dedication popped up in my feed, and i’d love to know the story.

‘remember, behind every great person is a cat ignoring them’.

-author unknown

 

when opportunity does not knock.

Standard

not my house or cats, but i get them.

when you are having

a private informal window of opportunity urgent under the radar ad hoc committee meeting

there is a quorum 

someone opens the closed door and peers in

odds are incredibly high

this is the same person

who is the subject of the meeting. 

“you can’t knock on opportunity’s door and not be ready. “

-bruno mars

 

 

 

image credit: google images

abstract mess.

Standard

 getting ready in the morning

i made a quick decision

to throw one light piece of laundry

down the stairs

rather than carry the extra three ounces

down seven stairs to my washing machine

tucked away in a little closet

such a brilliantly lazy choice

i instantly realized my mistake

when it caught on a piece of art

hanging along the stairway

ripping it off the wall

sending it reeling

into another wall

creating a divot

the art tile on the wood

cracking in two

the nail lost deep in the carpeting

went down the seven stairs

now easy

with three ounces less

than i would have had to carry

stepping over it all

walked into my kitchen

flipping on the light

 which answered me with a sudden ‘pop!’

a lightbulb had chosen that moment to blow out

i took in the spectacle of it all

sat down with a cup of coffee, a piece of chocolate, and a bit of music

another day had begun.

‘i think you have to let go of this idea that you can be precious about everything,

and let it be the abstract mess that it is.’

-ryan reynolds

sunny spirit.

Standard

i love their sense of humor about this

despite the entire town

being under construction

enduring random outages

having traffic-related ‘disturbances’

their coffee place is open

 still standing

 it’s up to you

to creatively find your way there

the coffee is damn good and worth the odyssey.

“humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. the minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield,

all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.”

-mark twain

 

 

 

image credit: roos roast coffee

 

 

when bobby calls.

Standard

so mad i missed his call

i really wanted to answer and ask him,

“you talkin’ to me??!”

 

 

“no, i don’t regret anything at this point.

that may change on the next phone call,

but at the moment i don’t regret anything.”

-william shatner

‘with a doughnut in each hand, anything is possible.’ – jameela jamil

Standard

it’s a big decision, take your time.

national donut day is celebrated on the first friday of june. established by the salvation army in 1938 to honor the “donut lassies” — women who served donuts (originally a European delicacy) to hungry american soldiers duringWW I. once they returned home, american soldiers longed for the donuts they had overseas. they grew increasingly popular in the u.s., and americans have been loving donuts ever since.

“do-not touch my donut.”

-me 

 

 

 

 

image credit: washtenaw dairy