close call
almost lost
my refund
windfall
and
wondering
how much
this
will
cost them
to
stop
payment
or
to
reissue
a
new check
for
nine cents
and
it’s
not really
making
any
cents
to
me
Sep13
Tag Archives: humor
Sep5
one child’s teddy bear is another’s stuffed virus.
by far the most unique cuddly toy brought in by one of our kindergarteners today
Pneumonia (Streptococcus pneumonia) Educational Plush Toy
‘Those big cute eyes betray a deadly virus – pneumonia kills a lot of people each year.
Ask your doc about it.’
yikes
—
and the company’s sales’s pitch:
‘Giant Microbes And Viruses Plush Toys Make Great Stuffed Animals Gifts
Just in time for flu season… Or in time to educate people about other nasty viruses and microbes…
Do you ever think about what those viruses and bacteria look like? They may make us sick every now and then – and hopefully not too sick (or too often). Whether you have a case of the sniffles or a bout of the “stomach flu” – there’s usually a bug behind it.’
‘And as it turns out, some of them are awfully cute, at least in their stuffed animal plush toy versions! The folks from Giant Microbes have created a whole line-up of the tiny guys – blew them up to about 1 Million times their “normal” size, and turned them into some of the cutest plush animals around.
Whether you want giant plush viruses or bacteria, or whether you want any one of a whole bunch of other micro-organisms, they’ve got you covered.’
—-
“remember when you used to sleep with all of your stuffed animals as a child
so none of them would be jealous?”
– unknown author
—
credits: squidoo.com, giant microbes and viruses plush toys
Aug29
that moment when you realize you are a shark in a pool of minnows.
aussie joey f, sizes up the competition
—
“if you are not too large for the place you occupy, you are too small for it.”
– james a. garfield (american president -20)
Aug27
my mind is like a banana tree filled with monkeys clamoring for attention – author unknown
happy national banana lovers day!
august 27th
—
credits: reddit.com, tumblr.com, jack kerouac
Aug22
if everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. ~ author unknown
my dear friend carol
who is always full of surprises
has had a demolition derby car named after her
i think that is perfect
and a fine honor, indeed.
Aug21
*h2.e.l.p.
we began as a mixed group
of teachers and parents
and
became friends
stayed friends
formed
a book club
had
passionate discussions
about books
but
over time
it became
challenging
to get
everyone
in one place
on a regular basis
for hours at a time
on the same night
so
one day
we had an idea
and
decided
to meet
after work on fridays
at the end of each week
late in the afternoon
just for a bit
on a drop-in basis
whoever could make it was welecome
and we
talked about
books, life, family, loves, our news, the world
and we
listened
to each other
and
asked and answered questions
about things
in our lives
that made us happy
or
that made us sad
or
that we didn’t understand
or just
needed
to tell someone
and
wanted
the perspective
of others
we trusted
as we
shared our personal stories
and we
celebrated each other’s lives
and we all made a point
of being there
on a regular basis
and sometimes
husbands
kids
dates
visitors
popped in
and out
and soon
the books fell away
and
we met
just to
spend time together
so
one day
i had an idea
and
i gave us a name
on a shirt
as a christmas present
*h2.e.l.p.
*(happy hour extra large print)
book club
of ann arbor
and to
make it official
and it seemed
just the right name
for us
for more than one reason
and
a couple of times
each year
we kick it up a notch
when
we go
on an
overnight adventure
to a local hotel
or a cottage on a lake
where it feels
so far away from it all
yet
they’re
just
a
few miles away
no husbands
no kids
no dates
no visitors
and
we stay up
most of the night
with food and drink
and music
sharing our stories
and
our own
good company
and
sometimes
we sneak into the pool or take a dip in the lake
for some
late night swimming
and play games
and
all sorts
of
other antics
and merry-making
happen
it’s a slumber party
of the highest order
after all
and
i may even suggest
that we
read a book
one day soon
one that
that has it all
romance, mystery, action and adventure, travel, suspense, humor, friendship
and no vampires
it’s one of my favorites
and
it’s sure to
inspire a passionate discussion
about its surprise ending
—
“the first rule of book club – is that nobody wants to talk about book club.”
― douglas lewis
Aug16
not my first rodeo?
by far
my favorite question
when
purchasing
life insurance
was
‘are you in a rodeo?’
and
i had
to laugh out loud
for
i’m not a fan
of rodeos
i feel for the animals
and have no desire
to be
thrown from anything
to rope anything
to be around clowns
in any capacity
i must
look like
a
rodeo gal.
there are worse things in life than death.
have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
– woody allen
—
image credit: mycomic.com
Aug13
this suspense is terrible. i hope it will last. – oscar wilde
when my niece and her family
relocated to the midwest
moving
from
flagstaff, arizona
to
toledo, ohio
for two years of graduate school
i was excited
to have them nearby
and
i told them
about
the beauty of the seasons here
and
no drama
no wildfires
no scorpions
no excessive heat
no worries
then
came the polar vortex
and it was so cold
no one could go outside
or navigate
the mountains of snow
and i told them
that this had never happened before
in my living memory
and not to worry
the worst would be over soon
and then
came
lake erie’s
toxic algae bloom crisis
no one could drink or bathe
or even boil the water
for days on end
and i told them
i’ve never, ever
have
experienced this before
in my entire lifetime
and i told them not to worry
the worst would be over soon
and then
came the 5 inches of rain
in just
a few hours
and the floods
and no one could drive their car on the roads
and basements flooded
and you might
have to kayak
through your neighborhood
to get home
and i will tell them
that this
has not happened here
since 1925
before i was alive
and not to worry
the worst will be over soon
and
i hope they believe me
as we head into autumn
in the beautiful midwest
and
i am
crossing my fingers
that
there will be
no earthquakes
or
volcanic eruptions
or
a series of rogue sheep attacks
and i wonder
if they
are beginning
to doubt my word
———
one person’s disaster is another person’s talking point.
henry rollins
—
image credits: infographicality.com, news net.com, sallyreed.com, nyt.com, acuweather.com, oc115.com, kwana.com
Aug12
stat!!!
—
image credit: grammarly
Aug7
“if we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” ― robert frost
my friend
kind
funny
energetic
and
mother of
five wonderful
small children
including
a set of twins
posted this picture
today
along with this message:
“Yep, So, this just happened. Another adventure for the M family!! So much for the other chores that have been piling up. I got this beautiful heart from my scout troop as a thank you at the end of this year. I had it on a shelf above the toilet. I think a cat knocked it off and into the toilet. I guess the heart is made of concrete, because it is completely unscathed . The toilet on the other hand….” – n.m.
i have to admit
i laughed until i cried
when i saw this
she was okay with that
i’m so happy
to know her
and
i blame
the girl scouts
—-
“i love people who make me laugh. i honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh.
it cures a multitude of ills. it’s probably the most important thing in a person.”
― audrey hepburn
