“people have become so accustomed to texting
that they’re actually startled when the phone rings.
it’s like we all suddenly have bat phones.
if it rings, there must be danger.”
-ellen degeneres
—
image credit: google images
May9
Tag Archives: technology
Mar21
less not more.
i wish this option was available.
—
after noticing that my bill had made a huge monthly rate leap
it was time for yet another wacky interaction with my cable provider
the rep was very friendly as he told me
that my old rate was purely promotional
it had expired without notice
and was no longer available
i then told him that in that case
i’d like to cut back on my service
to restore it to a more reasonable (yet still crazy) rate
he offered to get right to work for me
to find a happy solution to my problem
after thanking me often
during my 37 minutes of insane hold music
my rep came up with my new rate
i laughed out loud when he quoted me a price
that was actually higher than the one
i was calling about when we began
he quickly and politely explained
that he had provided me with their premier package
adding in home security, a landline, voice controls,
and i think something to do with walking my cat
(none of which i requested)
he also told me that he had used
their new state of the art billing service
(why it took so long)
which is very finely tuned
to review my bill and only charge me
based on the channels and services i use
offering me the best possible deal available
i reminded him that i had actually called
to eliminate channels and extra services
and to pay less not more
he politely went back to work on my issue
after a lot more hold music
i eliminated my useless channels and services
declining the best deal in the universe
even after he warned me i would be giving up things such as:
the rodeo clown channel, the quilting channel, and the watching paint dry live channel
i held my ground
and finally
in a twist of fate and luck and cable math
i somehow ended up back at
the special no longer available promotional rate
that i had requested to return to when we started .
—
“the real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.”
-b. f. skinner
—
image credit: gadgetpage.info
Feb18
virtual reality.
grandie j
offered his cat
a chance to experience
virtual reality firsthand.
i really, really wonder what she thought.
–
“books are the original virtual reality.”
― marushia dark.
Jul6
amy’s choice.
oh, amy what have you done?
after a bit of an unexplained absence
and when rejoining us outside at her picnic
amy tells us that she was busy inside
setting her mother up with her old iPad
and is already feeling a bit of remorse and worry
that this choice may have created
a life-long need for her tech support
and round-the-clock calls to her
yearning for immediate answers
to the endless questions as to the subtleties and mysteries
contained within the world of apple products.
her brother quickly makes it clear
that he is hands-off
and is not in any way involved in this endeavor.
she speaks openly of her fear
while the only other things we know
that she is afraid of are mascots
though this new level of fear
may have even topped that.
we all reassure her that she is a good daughter for having done this
while at the same time privately harboring
our own personal doubts
about the potential risk/reward factor involved in her choice.
about 3 minutes went by
and this is a picture of amy re-entering her house
after she has been called in
to where her mother sits with her new iPad
and her first ‘question/glitch.’
she looks frightened and unsure of what awaits her inside.
—
“choices are the hinges of destiny.”
-edwin markham
Apr16
away-ting.
me just hanging around and waiting for tech support today
working with wordpress to resolve ‘glitches’
more soon.
hopefully.
—
“technology, like art, is a soaring exercise of the human imagination.”
-daniel bell
Jul9
weather.
kind of funny
that the weather channel on tv
that was supposed to warn me
about incoming dangerous storms
wasn’t working right
because of the incoming dangerous storms.
every so often
a word like ‘severe’ would pop up
and disappear back into the screen
hope it wasn’t saying,
‘turn this off and take cover immediately!’
or
‘if you can see this, you are in harm’s way!’
at least i lived to tell the tale
and that is still working for me.
—
“weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
-george carlin
Dec27
last days.
“your modem has seen its last days.”
these are the words
that two different
comcast/xfinity customer service phone helper elves
uttered to me
when i read them the 267 digits and a couple of random letters
imprinted on the back of my modem
and described
what it was/was not doing
is this grim prognosis part of the script?
we then went through
a series of modem exercises
as a last ditch effort
to try to revive it
all were hit or miss
all to no avail
until it was confirmed
at last
that it had indeed
passed on
so
we scheduled an appointment
to have an elf come and remove the old one
to replace it with
a new, younger and more glamorous model
though we had no history
and i feared it would never be the same.
—
“technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.”
-aldous huxley
Mar12
it seems the older you get, the more life comes into focus. – john c. maxwell
(not me, but we share a similar hair color, glasses and attitude)
—
asked to be
in
a focus group
for the company
i bought
my car from
and
had to complete
a series
of ‘tasks’
in two cars
using
two
new
prototype
technology/navigation
systems
uh-oh
my two
greatest challenges
1. technology
2. navigation
the whole operation
was run
by two
very serious
engineer/researcher/designer types
armed with
laptops
data
video cameras
poker faces
said they wouldn’t
judge me
but i had to
complete the tasks
asked of me
all on my own
without
any of
their help
very challenging
until
finally
one snapped
and
pushed a button
to get me out of
what i couldn’t
get out of
the other
actually
laughed
out loud
in response to
one of my moves
and
i loved
that they
broke character
and
they loved
that i was
the perfect subject
to test the limits
of their systems
someone who
had no clue
in this area
but could fumble
her way through
without
doing
too much damage
and
trying everything
to solve
the problems
while laughing
all the way
whichever way that was
and
then i got lost
using my own
navigation system
while trying
to get home.
—
clarity affords focus.
– thomas leonard
Dec27
the games people (try to) play
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger. – Frank Lloyd Wright
technology has never been my strong suit, to put it mildly. oh, i can open up my laptop with the best of them, and use my cell phone, and text, and email, and write, and listen to music, and even use my electric toothbrush, but when it comes to video games, i realize i am in a totally a one-sided dysfunctional relationship. i consider myself ‘on a need to know and desperate to use level of understanding’ as far as technology goes anyway, and the games really push the envelope. won’t take my word for it? need a bit of evidence? here a just a few examples:
Technology is anything that wasn’t around when you were born. – Alan Kay
years ago, i was super hyped-up when ‘pong’ came out, one of the very first home video games. i found myself so excited on my first turn playing it, that i snapped the joystick right off of its base. all these years later, my brother is still holding a bit of grudge about this incident, as the game was his dream come true, and my parents also snapped, and said they were not replacing it since ‘we’ broke it so quickly.
when one my daughters was quite young, she told me, (as i was trying to share a mother-daughter quality bonding time with her, by playing video games) – ‘mom, i’m not trying to be mean, but it’s not really fun playing these games with you. it’s kind of boring actually, because you’re sort of slow, and you don’t know the shortcuts and your guys always get killed so fast and you have low points and then you are out and i always win.’
flash forward to more recent times, apparently i have not made a lot of progress in this area. i played wii tennis against my son in law, and hit him with my hand held thing. hard. by accident. once again, i was a very enthusiastic player. i felt like i was really on the court. soon after, the ‘tapping’ incident, it flew out of my hand and hit and broke something in the room. i was ‘asked’ to wear the wristband to protect us all after that.
I play the the Wii without the wrist strap, thug life. – Unknown quote
for my birthday this year, i put ‘one hour of random tech support, (of my choosing), without judgement, snottiness, mocking laughter, or a crabby voice’, on my birthday wish list. coincidentally, all three of my daughters individually decided this was not humanly possible for them, as the conditions i requested were absolutely un-doable. they each said they would rather get me anything else on my list.
my new strategy is to stay one step ahead of the grand babies, as i can sometimes take them in the games at this point, though one is soon to be six years old, so my short reign may quickly come to an end. i’ve decided that i can cross ‘gamer’ or ‘video designer’ off of my list of potential next careers. but – give me a good game of twister and i will show you who’s boss. and perhaps even do so, without judgement or snottiness or mocking laughter, or a crabby voice, though there is no guarantee.
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. – Albert Einstein
I didn't have my glasses on.... 