Tag Archives: humor

where hobbies, hijinks, and capers go bad = my childhood #2

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another day, another hobby.

in the late 60s

this was a book that i longed to own

i loved to get mail and loved to get free things

what could go wrong?

i used my saved-up coins to send in for the book

and could not wait to begin using it

i read it from cover to cover

marking pages, checking off favorites

 began writing notes, stuffing envelopes, and ordering things

using stamps that i found in a junk drawer

before i knew it i had a small collection of

weird government brochures, lists of tips, tables, charts, and recipes

none of which were really of any use to me

but i didn’t care what any of it was

as long as it came in the mail and it was free

my pile grew and grew

until it didn’t

when once again

i realized that i had no income

had used all of my money to buy the book

and had no way

to buy any more of the stamps

that i needed

to send in my requests

to get free things.

what i really needed were unlimited free books of stamps

and it was on to the next ill-fated hobby for me…

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“sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.” 

-albert einstein

 

spring holiday salad.

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 *my easter/passover/april fool’s day/full moon kit-kat salad and its recipe

upwrap 7-12 kit-kat bars

break into delicious individual pieces

if chocolate melts onto your fingers

lick them clean

drop what’s left into a lovely bowl

toss gently

enjoy.

*(serving size may vary depending on how willing you are to share)

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happy holidays to all

—

“food for the body is not enough. there must be food for the soul.”

-dorothy day

siesta fiesta.

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so here it is, the last day of march

and i just found out that march is national sleep month

had i known i would have fully celebrated

each and every day

like a long fiesta with long siestas

and i will do my best to make up for it today

who am i not to honor a holiday?

—

“there is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.”

-homer

 

 

 

 

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image credit: animalandnature.com

who?

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that moment when you realize that

you have been calling your neighbor ‘phil’ for three years

only to find out that his name is really ‘al.’

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“1 call everyone ‘darling’ because i can’t remember their names. “

-zsa zsa gabor

 

 

 

 

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image credit: twitter

backseat driver.

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i ran into this big guy while out shopping 

he was waiting patiently for his front seat driver to return.

—

“it’s easy to be a backseat driver.

it’s even easier to be a backseat driver when you’re not even in the same car.”

-rick mccallum

snacks.

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one of the bonuses of being a kindy teacher

is that i always have a snack at the ready

should anything happen along my way home.

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the road to enlightenment is long and difficult, 

and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines.

-annie lamott

up all night.

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a glimpse into the real story behind the legend.

 the groundhog

stays up all night

trying to calculate

exactly when spring will arrive

and is exhausted

when they wake him up

to bring him out

early in the morning

for his official prediction

each february 2nd

on groundhog day.

—

“i’m so tired…i was up all night trying to round off infinity.”

-steven wright

 

privately public.

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Public Event
Privacy Workshop
Saturday February 10, 2018
Downtown Library: Secret Lab

—

“any privacy in public is a hard thing to negotiate.”

-benedict cumberbatch

bread.

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when out for a night

at a wonderful irish pub

with warm company, warm food, and a warm fireplace

we decided to make the crazy leap

to ask for bread

and were looking forward

to a warm basket overflowing

with fresh, crusty bread

image our surprise

when a single 6-inch slice of soda bread

arrived on tiny plate

to be shared between us

 we stared at it for a minute

looked at each other

and amazingly

we were able to eat the whole thing.

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“if thou tastest a crust of bread, thou tastest all the stars and all the heavens.”

–Robert Browning

louse.

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one of my favorite teacher gifts.

ever.