Tag Archives: humor

All art requires courage.  ~ Anne Tucker

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http://www.daytondailynews.com/videos/news/crime-law/male-strippers-subdue-robbery-suspect/vCT5cz/

crimestoppers come in all shapes and sizes. you do what you do.

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credits: daytondailynews, lasvegas.com, xjosimo

When brothers agree, no fortress is so strong as their common life. ~Antisthenes

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aussie grandbabies m and f live in what is clearly a two-spiderman household

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero.  ~Marc Brown

 

 

what makes a man?

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 it took a small village of kinders to make a man.

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they hiked through the deep snow.

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they went in the playhouse to eat some snow and get pumped up about it.

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they worked hard to push heavy loads almost a big as they were.

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they built. and they built.

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and they moved mountains.

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and they crowned him with a prized possession.

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and we celebrated with a song and a dance around the man they created.

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and in the seventh hour, they rested. 

 Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world;

indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead

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image credits: j. kurtz

 

 

 

if you ice it, they will skate.

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 ‘Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, I’m going to snow.

If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes,that’s tough. I am going to snow anyway.’ – Maya Angelou

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how some of us are getting around this week in ann arbor

 Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance. – Yoko Ono

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image credit: susannah b.

making the turn

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headed out to the gym yesterday to workout and watch the big game. the university of michigan wolverines were playing basketball against our instate rivals, the michigan state spartans. i figured i’d serve myself up a little pleasure with my pain. 

 

as i got closer to the gym, i noticed that it was surrounded by an astounding number of opposing choices: taco bell, burger king, cottage inn pizza, noodles, mcdonalds, gourmet garden chinese, castle liquor store, subway, zingerman’s roadhouse. i could almost imagine my chalupa and mexican pizza and a cold beer.

or, there was –

 the gym. 

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it would have been so easy to accidentally turn into one of those other driveways, and then the next hour would be spent indulging in food and drink heaven instead of in gym hell. 

i made the turn. 

and when i found myself in the gym, i was not disappointed, and knew i had made the right choice. there were father/sons, couples, singletons, and people of every shape and size and color imaginable. what we all had in common, was the turn we made to get there.

the familiar maize and blue home team shirts were everywhere, and people cheered while on the elliptical, treadmill, with weights, and bars, and balls, and machines. it was a great first half. and while i can’t say where everyone went for the second half, the wolverines played a magnificent game, and  we won in the end. go blue! sometimes, it’s just a matter of choosing the right driveway. and if i happen to turn into the taco bell driveway next time, so be it. 

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One might as well try to ride two horses moving in different directions,

as to try to maintain in equal force two opposing or contradictory sets of desires.

 Robert Collier

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image credits: michigan daily, oldtowneast.com, sweethorseranch.com

when life gives you a pound or so of raw talent, just make meatloaf.

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what are the odds? i have crossed paths with meatloaf (the singer, not the food), not once, but twice in my life. this is a brush with fame i never anticipated. and while i can appreciate his theatrical performance style, his passion, and unique voice, i was never musically smitten enough to ever really aspire to come in face-to-face contact with him. or bikini-to-speedo contact with him, for that matter, but fate tiptoed in and had other plans.

our first meeting happened back in the day when i was a cocktail waitress/student. meatloaf stopped by to immortalize his visit to our place by putting his hands into a wet cement block on our sidewalk.

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not meatloaf putting his hands in wet cement

what i remember most about this night, was not the hand printing, but the imprint left on me when he grabbed a half-eaten sandwich off of a customer’s plate, took a huge bite out of it, and put it back. that, and i remember he was sweating. a lot.

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not meatloaf sweating or the sandwich he took a huge bite of

our second meeting happened when i was in florida and walking down the beach. i was sipping on a tall, cool cocktail, enjoying the slow-setting sun, reflecting on another relaxing vacation day, when who should come walking down the beach, but my old friend meatloaf. and this time he was wearing a speedo, and it was not his best look. and he had a colorful, fruity drink in his hand, and he was still sweating, and his skin was really red, but he was smiling, and he kept on smiling as we passed each other. and we were both happy.

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not meatloaf in a speedo on the beach

and i took a big sip of my cocktail with double limes, and thought to myself, how lucky. some things were meant to be, you just have to take what the universe offers up and toast to it. so, here’s to you, meatloaf on the beach.

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meatloaf

There’s no explanation for success. Success just comes out of life. – Meat Loaf

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image credits: fabulousfoods.com,tumblr.com, primantibrothers.com, latimes.com,theguardian.com

 

even superheroes need their grandmothers

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my daughter posted this pic of grand baby j, looking out of the mail slot for me,

calling out, ‘grandma, grandma?’

Once the bear’s hug has got you, it is apt to be for keeps. – Harold MacMillan

 

waking and wondering in a winter wonderland

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last night i had a dream about my friend who commandeered an old, rusty, garbage truck and put a huge plow on the front. he was determined to make it to my cottage to clear the driveway, and would do whatever it took to get here, mad max armageddon style. many thanks for your loyalty, my friend, and perhaps winter has worn out it’s welcome, even in my dreams.

Winter lingered so long in the lap of Spring that it occasioned a great deal of talk. –  Bill Nye

 

waiting patiently with good company

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i ran into this cheerful couple while waiting my turn in an insurance office. they seemed well-matched and quite happy. i think i overheard one of them say to the other: ‘You got a past, I do too. We’re perfect for each other.’ 

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We have lasted this long close together, so we must have something going for each other.

 Linda McCartney to Paul

 

the three heirs

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once upon a time, there was a mama bear named beth who had 3 little girl bears. each one was very different, yet for some reason mama bear had thought it was a good idea, (at the time), to give each one a name that began with the letter,’h.’ over time, each had learned just to answer to any name that began with the letter ‘h’ because the odds were that mama bear usually was calling them by the wrong name. especially when she was tired or was excited or was laughing or was a bit worked up about something.

well, the little bears grew up and each went to their own cave, but there were some special moments when they all were all back together, in the same place at the same time. it was during one of those times, that mama bear had another good idea, and she gave two of the little bears a certificate to go to a local spa as a gift for their birthdays, which were close together. it had been a long season, and they were tired and needed some pampering. the third little bear stayed with mama and played games and had coffee and chatted about how much fun the other two must be having and how relaxed they would be after their special day.

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when the two little bears got home, and came through the door, they had sad and disappointed looks on their faces, and one was even hobbling a bit. and they shared their story of what happened at the spa that day. it seems the spa had gotten them mixed up, as both of their names began with ‘h,’ and they had arrived together.

one had wanted a deep tissue sports massage, and spent a long time waiting for the massage to ‘really begin.’ she said when she heard the enya music, and smelled lavender and her masseuse was whispering, she had a feeling it was not going to be the experience she had expected. when she was finished, she walked out and came around the corner, only to run into her little bear sister who had tears in her eyes, and was walking very gingerly. she had been given the hardcore sports massage and had moaned and groaned throughout the treatment, as she was pummeled and twisted and turned, and she was waiting for the gentle massage to begin, and her whole body was now aching and she was in pain.

when they told mama and the third little bear the whole story, the listeners really did try to be sympathetic, they really, really did, but they could not stop laughing about the mixup. this did not make the two little spa bears feel any better. the ones who stayed home realized they had been the ones to have the relaxing day, not the ones who went out to seek comfort. but they were smart, and thought it might not be a good idea to bring it up right then.

when everyone calmed down, and when it had been quiet for a bit, they all sat down (carefully), and mama bear made everyone some comfort food, and gave each bear a healthy glass of red wine, and then all of the ‘h’s’, (who knows which went first?), took turns retelling their version of the story. and then there was laughter in the house once more, along some painful wincing going on.

The whole campaign was a tragic case of mistaken identity.  –  George McGovern

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image credits: art.com, http://www.alisal.com/spa.html