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image credit: pick up and play
Feb14
my valentine’s day dream date
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image credit: pick up and play
Tag Archives: humor
Feb2
Too clever is dumb. – Ogden Nash
i was in arizona, visiting my sister and her family, and we crossed the border to go bargain shopping at a market in mexico. we saw lots and lots of wonderful things for sale, but there was one item i simply could not resist. i have always been a huge fan of pinatas, and of all of the celebrations and craziness that go with them, and i saw one that topped all the others. it was a giant. life-sized, santa claus piñata. i knew right away it had to be mine. and, in the spirit of being in the open-air market, i knew i would drive a hard bargain for st. nick.
soon after, there were 5 seconds of tough negotiations that went something like this,
‘how much for that santa?’
’10 dollars and 25 cents.’
‘how about 10 dollars?
‘okay.’
i knew i had been so clever, and had gotten the bargain of a lifetime. i was so happy, and santa and i kind of walked off with a newfound swagger, as i talked about how clever i had been, how the seller didn’t know how much this gem was worth, and how clever i really was.
we drove to the airport and i checked in, proud to be carrying my new friend santa, ready to show him how we like to celebrate the winter holidays in michigan. we got lots of odd looks, smiles and questioning faces, but no matter. it was so clever, that we had ended up together, and for such a bargain price. it was at the ticket counter, however, that my ‘so clever’ bubble was quickly popped, i was told the following: ‘he’s too big to stow above, you’ll have to buy him his own seat.’ what, my $10.00 clever bargain santa would now cost me hundreds to get home??
and soon after, yet another round of intense negotiations took place:
‘okay, what are my other options?’
‘there is only one.’
‘okay.’
we found a compromise. santa could fly with the luggage in the cargo section of the plane, and i had to be willing to accept that he may not look the same upon arrival. we parted ways – him on a conveyer belt, and i walked down a long hallway. i imagined all sorts of terrible things happening to him without his clever mama watching over him, but he would have been an expensive companion to have on board.
when i landed i saw him coming around the luggage carousel, feet first, and with a toe tag on. i thought about how he looked like he was in a morgue, and i knew it had been a very rough flight for him. i picked him up, stood him upright, and as we walked away, he was not quite as jolly, and i, not quite as clever. it had been a good run of clever for both of us though, and how quickly it was over.
The desire to seem clever often keeps us from being so. – Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Feb1
Nature always wears the colors of the spirit. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
made it downtown to the hair appointment. saw people out with skis, babies, guitars, coffees, dogs, eating under awnings outside, smiling, calm, and happy, and chatting, and skittering along through all of the weather. what’s more snow and freezing rain when you’ve already had 40 inches or so this month? life goes on. and now i like to imagine that my hair will look stunning as i listen to my’ extreme winter rock mix ‘on my iPod, and shovel my driveway, yet again. we are a hearty lot.
The poetry of the earth is never dead.
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image credit: jahna vashti
Feb1
just looked outside, yep, 6 more inches of the white stuff.
but i am a woman on a mission. i will stand back up now. and i will snowshoe downtown if need be. i have a hair appointment.
The Harvard Law states: Under controlled conditions of light, temperature, humidity, and nutrition,
the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
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image credit: funnyordie.com
Jan28
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz
today, it is national chocolate cake day in the united states. as i am never one to pass up a holiday, or chocolate, for that matter, i will fully embrace the day. stop on by and join in the celebration. and please bring some milk if you would be so kind.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. – Regina Brett
Jan27
dreaming of the summer garden, and creatures great and small
with yet another day of below zero temps and flying snow, i have warm memories of baby v and lewis the cat, as they crossed paths last summer at my favorite garden store, just a beautiful walk away from the cottage.
i’m just going to stop over for a minute and tell lewis something.
okay, we are good.
lewis is a well-respected and incredibly tolerant employee. and a very good listener.
What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. ~John Steinbeck
Jan25
a gift of mischief and mayhem and love all rolled into one
found this old book of love that my daughters had given me for my birthday more than a decade ago. i laughed out loud all over again, at their kind and loving and humorous approach to life. no one had much money, but this book was worth everything. they spoiled me with offers of flowers and treats and reluctant shared experiences and pampering (even though they signed up their third sister who was out of the country for this task). here are some of the coupons found within:
Children make your life important. –Erma Bombeck
Jan19
‘There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?’ – M. Night Shyamalan
my daughter and her aussie family, having decided to take on an easy pet, went the “cute little guinea pigs” route. my grandsons enjoyed playing with them, they were cuddly, and loved to run around in the yard, (grandkids and pigs, both). living in the southern hemisphere, and with a very warm climate, it was not unusual and worked out well for everyone.
until one day, when it got just too hot for them, and the little guys, (the pigs, not the grand babies), decided to make a run for it and head for a cooler location, under the house. they haven’t really seen them since, (the pigs not the babies). i suggested to my daughter that she send the littlest guy, (baby, not pig), under the house on a hunting expedition, with a headlamp and a net. he is the only one who would fit under there, has a huge love of hands-on adventure, and would probably find the mission quite exciting.
my daughter and i discussed the possibilities if they didn’t find them:
‘are they vegetarians?’
‘oh they won’t go hungry, they can eat as much grass as they like out there and always be full.’
‘but isn’t everything massive there, you have super races of every animal, who have adapted and are highly developed survivors?’
‘what if they run out of grass? what if they have to eat a bug or something to survive?’
‘yeh, once they have a taste for blood, they could go after bigger things. the neighbor’s cat, a kangaroo, and even us.’
‘we could come home one day and find them to be giants, roaming the yard, looking menacing, making eye-contact with us and hungry!’
‘yes.’
‘it would be like a bad b-movie, with us as the running, shrieking victims.’
‘could you possibly videotape it for me and i could make a fun family movie out of it?’
soon after, i noticed that she had put up an offer to local friends on Facebook – “looking for a good home for cute guinea pigs, our yard will just not accommodate them since we’ve moved.” following is a very real part of that exchange:
a: Are they child friendly??
h: Not really lap guineas, need more handling. I have a leash and everything but don’t think they are quite there yet.
j: be warned everyone !! they are the guinea pigs from hell !!! they would be perfect extras as pets for the dudes of Sons of Anarchy !!!
apparently, people have different perspectives about them, clearly divided between those who’ve met them, and those who haven’t. but really, leashes?!
You can’t create a monster, then whine when it stomps on a few buildings. Yeardley Smith (voice of lisa simpson)
image credits: freeamigurumipatterns, news.bbc.co.uk, theguardian.com
Jan18
blading, gliding – slipping, sliding
it was a morning spent with the kindergarten on an ice skating adventure. filled with tip-toeing on skates, scooting on boots, giving rides on cones, running on ice, holding hands, tumbling, crashing, laughing, noses running.
and all this, as our little hockey playing and figure skating kinders skate on by.
when it’s time to warm up with hot cocoa and donuts, they find themselves on equal ground, and they are all exhausted and so happy. and then, even our hockey players cry when it is time for moms and dads to leave, and for us to return to the cozy comfort of the circle rug in our classroom once more. and some of us feel newly discovered muscles in their legs the next day, that are apparently never used in this way, and take it real slow when going down the stairs.
I would say my sense of adventure outweighs my grace – Kathy Ireland
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image credits: freshcardsgifts.co.uk, partylistyles.com
Jan16
your call.
The attempt to combine wisdom and power has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
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image credits: oldprint.com, it’s a lovely life, economist. com
