Tag Archives: humor

things that go bump in the night.

Standard

a021081such a chilly night

that i

ran up

the stairs

 to my

cozy

loft bedroom

with the

slanted ceilings

and i

was

so happy

to be there

that i

jumped into bed

just like

in the movies

with piles of

warm soft blankets

and

pillows

waiting for me

but

 somehow

my head

went first

and i

jumped into

the slanted ceiling

instead

then i

fell into bed

holding my head

and wondering

would i

wake up?

and i

 saw a few stars

though i

 don’t have a skylight

so i

wrote down

two questions

to ask myself

to check on

 my

potential concussion

who is the president?

what is your name?

that’s what

they always ask

in the movies

but i

 forgot

to wake up

to ask them of myself

and i

forgot

to write down the answers

how

would i

ever know

if i

got them right?

all

that i

do know for sure

is

that i

woke up

with

a  giant bump

of some kind

on my head

pinte.com

don’t let your head get in the way of your hearts direction…

– daniel engelbrecht

 

image credits: wbur.org, pinterest.com

remember you are just an extra in everyone else’s play. – franklin d. roosevelt

Standard

oldmagazinearticles.com

i love the casting call 

for the latest

group of extras

needed

for a film

being shot locally. 

though i don’t have the look of

a sketchy male or a crack head ,

 i could easily be

a gawker or neighborhood folk.

good to know.

The first day for extras on Destined is Wednesday.
The extras rate on Destined will be $65.20/8hrs with OT after 8hrs.
(All must be 18+ with a valid photo ID)

I am looking for 8 “Neighborhood Folk” and 2 “Sketchy Males” on Wednesday.

On Thursday, I’ll need 2 “Gawkers” (Available on the 6th and 25th), a couple of “Crack Heads”, and a few more “Neighborhood Folk”.


A new Availability Form has been posted for the first few days on Destined.
Please fill it out if you are 100% available for the dates listed.

And please email—–@gmail.com with current pics (include your name) and “Destined Extras” in the subject.
 Thank you

image credit: oldmagazinearticles.com

the most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible. – albert einstein

Standard

pinte.com

and

somehow it all works

i have no idea exactly how

 i am constantly surprised

and

i kind of like that 

image credit: pinterest.com

why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?  – ron alderson

Standard

happy national nacho day

to all of the nachos in my life

IMG_3735

nacho the food not the cat

IMG_1556nacho the cat not the food

ALBERT EINSTEIN

einstein explaining the theory of nachos

you have all made my life so much better

“life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.” – danny kaye

Standard

strangebeav.com

not me or anyone i know,

but we do share the same room painting technique. 

paint project

in

my loft bedroom 

up high in the cottage

paint clothes on

sweat pants with lost drawstring

falling down

somehow rear end 

gets painted

and

lying back

on my tarp covered bed

moved to the center of the room

painting

the low arched ceiling above

paint on my face 

in my ears

in my hair

nacho the cat not the food

crying downstairs

the whole time

finally coming up

 getting wet paint on him

tracking downstairs

must have been

raised by

depressed

coyotes

he does not meow

like a cat

it is more of a

soulful mourning 

bug flies

into the whirlwind

and creates

a textured wall

head hit

on angled walls

time and time again

arms covered

in splatter

i stand

on tippy-toes

balanced precariously

on the edge of the stairs 

 to reach tiny corners

paint dripping and drying

on wood floor in kitchen below

chip it off

curtain downstairs 

taken off 

to avoid paint

but

rod broken in process

painting quickly 

before the dark of night

when it’s impossible to see up there

in the mood lighting

wow

that’s a lot of color

i can’t wait

to see it

in the daylight

out of paint

put empty can in car

paint gets on seats

goo be gone 

leaves a mark

i’ve decided 

not to become

 a professional

house painter

‘one must act in painting as in life, directly.’ -pablo picasso

 

ruffled?

Image

10574325_10154604769880058_9137159884915707754_n

one doesn’t have a sense of humor. it has you. – larry gelbart

Standard

78325467-1024x1024

when i went

to pick out the carpeting

for my bedroom

up in the cozy loft

of the cottage

the woman

helping me

asked

all of

the relevant questions

including

‘is it a high traffic area?’

i looked her in the eye

and

just couldn’t help myself

when i answered

‘well, i am single and it is my bedroom, so wouldn’t that be funny if i said yes?’

she stopped for a minute

looked back at me

with a confused expression

and checked something off on her paper

i’d love to see her notes

—-

it is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use,

from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.

– thomas aquinas

clothes make a statement. costumes tell a story. ~mason cooley

Standard

shaggylamb.com

i’ve begun to

think about

my costume

with

 halloween

arriving

in just

a few weeks

and

i remember

the year

i dressed up

as

a weather girl

when

i wore

my yellow raincoat

a string of pearls

high heels

t.v. makeup

and

curled hair

but

people guessed

that i was

a flasher

and

that didn’t

go

exactly

as planned

image credit: shaggylamb.com

so, i opened my mailbox only to find this piece of food terrorism waiting for me there.

Standard

IMG_1673

it knocked me

off my feet

and

attacked me

from

all sides

and

i

was

completely

left

defenseless 

to

its powers

holy hell

the

only thing

worse

would be

if it said

we will 

come

to your house

and

finger feed you

chips and dip

and

salted caramels

while you

lie around

on your sofa

i usually take a two-hour nap from one to four. – yogi berra

Standard

justcuteanimals.com

as we walked in from recess

e muttered aloud:

why do we have to take naps?

why do we have to take them every day?

why do schools make kids take naps?

whey do we have to?

why?

do all schools take naps?

i hate naps.

i never fall asleep.

i do not like naps.

naps are dumb.

when we

got back to our room

he

got a drink of water

laid down on his cot

and 

passed out cold

for 1 and 1/4 hours

and

 neither of us

said a word 

when he 

finally woke up

—-

image credit: justcuteanimals.com