kinder shares a bowl filled with her red loose parts treasure salad
(it’s a secret recipe)
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“the heart that gives, gathers.”
-tao te ching
The Idaho Potation Commission gave away a French fry-scented perfume ahead of Valentine’s Day.
The new perfume purports to give off the aroma of French fries in all their greasy, salty splendor. “Whether you’re at a drive through restaurant or dining in, it’s near impossible to not grab a fry and take a bite before you dive into your meal,” Jamey Higham, president and CEO of the Idaho Potato Commission, said in a statement. “The smell is too good to resist.”
Dubbed Frites by Idaho, the “limited-edition fragrance” was going for $1.89 per 1.7 oz bottle on the commission’s website before selling out. The fragrance, which the commission says captures “one of the world’s most irresistible scents,” is made from distilled Idaho potatoes and essential oils.
A recent national survey by the firm Pollfish found nearly 90% of Americans “find the smell of French fries irresistible.”The Idaho commission has additional potato merchandise available for those addicted to spuds, including a French fry holder, Idaho potato playing cards, a miniature potato-hauling truck, and a 3-foot-tall “Spuddy Buddy.”
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“show me a person who doesn’t like french fries and we’ll swap lies.”
-joan lunden
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credits: joe hernandez, npr, big talk productions, bbc
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So exciting!
“generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do,
but it is giving me that which you need more than I do.”
-khalil gibran
You can now satiate your appetite without moving a muscle or missing a play, thanks to the Reynolds Wrap Hunger Harness. This $5 “wearable snack pack” has plenty of pockets to hold your appetizers, main course, snacks, and beverage, all while keeping your food nice and toasty. Essentially, it’s a mini kitchen you can wear like a front-facing backpack or a baby carrier, because after all, snacks are precious cargo.
Want to nervously munch on mozzarella sticks and mini bean burritos while you yell at the referee on your TV screen? Just tuck them into the upper thermal pouch in your Hunger Harness and you’re good to go. Want to make sure you have enough tortilla chips to last through the halftime show? There’s a side pocket for that, too—plus an insulated slot for your queso or dip of choice. A built-in food tray rests on your lap and “turns you into a human table,” and there’s also a pouch for a can of your beverage of choice.
The Hunger Harness was sold in waves in limited quantities and is no longer available. Some may be found on other sites, but are now extremely rare. Just get out that old Baby Bjorn and repurpose as needed! Be creative! If you’re thinking of procuring one for yourself, please heed this advice from Reynolds: “Use caution when handling hot food and beverages.” Lovers of lava-hot pizza rolls, you’ve been warned.
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“our inventions mirror our secret wishes.”
-lawrence durrell
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credits: emily petsko, reynolds
not mine, but a pretty accurate ‘before’ picture of my bellbottoms
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with the return of outdoor ice-skating weather
i’m reminded of my ill-fated misadventure
when i made a choice to combine my bells with my skating.
and it wasn’t a good thing.
i was ‘home-ec’ years old
in middle school
loved the cooking part
horrible at the sewing part
decided i’d make bellbottoms
instead of a stupid apron
ignoring the fact that
i wasn’t good at it
just wanted to get it done
bought some cool blue fabric and a pattern
somehow stitched it together
but really didn’t get the concept of alterations
all i knew was that
they should be very tight and have very big bells at the bottom
so i finally took a yardstick
just drew a chalk line on each inseam
didn’t measure anything
stitched them up
modeled them for our fashion show to pass the class
noticed they were quite tight even when just standing
went ice-skating with my friends after school
wearing my new very skin-tight bells
to impress my crush who would be there
looking cool with my skates and my bells
it all began well
then we played crack the whip
it all took a turn
when i sailed across the ice
stopping in a huge snowbank
so fun
until i fully stood up
realizing
my entire inseam
from ankle to ankle
had all torn out
leaving me more or less wearing
a tight maxi-skirt/chaps type of garment
brought new meaning to ‘cool’
tried to casually walk home through the snow in my skates
with an air of ‘what?, this happens all the time, pretty normal…’
another reason why i am a teacher and not a seamstress.
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“bell bottom blues, you make me cry…”
-derek and the dominos- eric clapton
yes, these are my glitter shoes again, brought out for special occasions.
—
while i do so love to be barefoot or in sandals whenever possible
there are times when shoes are needed,
like novemeber-march in michigan
and sometimes on small holidays or dance party fridays.
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“when I die I don’t want to be wearing shoes.
i want to have just enough notice so that I can pull them off and get comfortable.
shoes mean death snuck up on you.
shoes mean you had other plans.”
-jason buchholz, a paper son