now you might reasonably say to me: “why put yourself through all this? why go up to the loft when you know the decorations won’t be there? why untangle the lights when you know they haven’t a chance of working?” and my answer to you is that this is part of the ritual. christmas wouldn’t be christmas without it.’ bill bryson – ‘notes from a big country’
when i got this box
and quickly
glanced at it
something
told my imagination
that the amazon guy
who never saw
or met me
or had any idea
or cared in the least
who i am
was
paying me
a bizarre compliment
then i realized
it
was just
a bit
of
dyslexic trickery
and
ego speak.
i believe i am qualified to teach a master class in this.
who’s in?
m: ‘i’m finished with class and just working, so let me know when you’re ready to go.’
me: ‘come now!!!! )))’
m: ‘coming out now.’
(i shut down my computer, pack up, walk upstairs, chit chat with colleagues, look out the door for m – my loyal carpool partner. who works in our high school, while i work in our kindergarten. we coordinate schedules each day. our buildings are one minute away from each other. we share a campus. we share rides to and from school. we share a friendship and a level of understanding each other, developed over hours spent together in a car, as willing captive audience members. i mill around. chit chat some more. visit two classrooms. look out window. more time passes. i check my phone to see if she got waylaid along the way.)
i look down and see this:
m: ‘you drove. right?’
oh.
yes, yes i did.
i head to my car,
(without further milling or chatting or texting),
it’s waiting in my parking lot,
right where i left it this morning,
to pick up m.
we make eye contact.
m gets in the car.
we realize that each of us was waiting to be picked up by the other.
it could have been a very long wait.
one drove.
one did not.
we leave. we wind down from the day. we laugh.
one of us got confused today.
we don’t name names.
Author, Ermine Cnningham, ( known to wordpress bloggers as: Ermigal from ‘odds and ends from ermigal) https://ermigal.wordpress.com – has written a wonderful and lively romp, “Pretend You Know What You’re Doing – My Voyage From Teacher to Humor Writer.” In this sweet and funny book, Ermine offers up her tale, a mix of prose and blog posts, chronicling the story of how she grew to be the hilarious and well-rounded, (in a positive Italian way), woman she is today. I was lucky enough to have an early read and am happy to invite you to share in the fun.
Her book is available through amazon.com and erminecunningham.com.
Laugh ‘Til Your Meatballs Fall Apart (My Amazon review below)
Ermine Cunningham, retired teacher, and now, humor writer, and woman of the world, has written this hilarious book that will keep you laughing from beginning to end. She chronicles her bumpy journey, through trial and error, into the worlds of teaching, corporate working, dating, being part of an Italian family and beginning her own family. Once she has mastered all of these, she finds herself in a completely new role, as a retiree, feeling her way through the world of volunteering, blogging, writer’s workshops, salsa dancing, and all sorts of new things. If you’re looking to laugh and to follow a positive and creative woman on her road trip through life, I highly recommend this book. You will not regret a second spent reading it, and you might even learn something, even if it’s just what not to do.
Beth
rebecca hunter
is the
nom de plume
that i chose
many years ago
as i planned
to write
my
bodice ripper
romance novel
so
if you ever
see
the name
on a cover
pick up the book
only you
will know
who
the author
really is
and
it promises
to be
a classic
of sorts
—
romance is the glamour
which turns the dust of everyday life
into a golden haze.
– carolyn gold heilbrun
the first bite you take of a gingerbread cookie says a lot about your personality,
according to dr. alan hirsch, the neurological director of
‘the smell and taste treatment and research foundation. ‘
if you start with the head: you are a natural born leader
if you prefer the legs: you are sensitive
if you begin with the left arm: you’re likely creative
if you begin with the right arm: you tend to be pessimistic
if you don’t want to be judged for how you eat the thing,
you might just want to tear off everything at once when no one is looking.
when you mix these
two wonderful things
in a way
they weren’t meant to
sometimes you get this
or sometimes
your computer
doesn’t
work quite right
and you hope
for a miraculous
apple recovery
i’m not quite sure how, but i’m quite sure it somehow happened.
in the end, that turtle’s (or terrapin, as some prefer), hard shell refused to let a wolverine break through, and hung on for the victory in our recent matchup here in my very own hometown of ann arbor.
as promised in my wager with fellow blogger, a man who writes about sports and entertainment, rival and friend, mark b. – here is the fight song of the winner in the battle between my michigan wolverines and his maryland terrapins. you may not recognize me as the singer, but i like to surprise, just like those terrapins. what say you, mark b.?
here is the link to mark b’s always entertaining blog, even when he has won and is gloating…
and congrats to you and your turtles, mark. well-played.
University of Maryland
Fight Song
Fight, fight, fight for Maryland,
Honor now Her name again,
Push up the score, keep on fighting for more,
For Maryland, GO TERPS!
And we will fight, fight, fight for terrapins,
Keep on fighting ’till we win.
So sing out our song as we go marching along,
To victory!!!
—
Words and music by Ralph Davis, Class of 1941
copyright 1941
by the University of Maryland Student Government Association
