Category Archives: humor

it’s here.

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fear and hope are alike underneath. –

richard ford

things that go bump in the night.

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a021081such a chilly night

that i

ran up

the stairs

 to my

cozy

loft bedroom

with the

slanted ceilings

and i

was

so happy

to be there

that i

jumped into bed

just like

in the movies

with piles of

warm soft blankets

and

pillows

waiting for me

but

 somehow

my head

went first

and i

jumped into

the slanted ceiling

instead

then i

fell into bed

holding my head

and wondering

would i

wake up?

and i

 saw a few stars

though i

 don’t have a skylight

so i

wrote down

two questions

to ask myself

to check on

 my

potential concussion

who is the president?

what is your name?

that’s what

they always ask

in the movies

but i

 forgot

to wake up

to ask them of myself

and i

forgot

to write down the answers

how

would i

ever know

if i

got them right?

all

that i

do know for sure

is

that i

woke up

with

a  giant bump

of some kind

on my head

pinte.com

don’t let your head get in the way of your hearts direction…

– daniel engelbrecht

 

image credits: wbur.org, pinterest.com

why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?  – ron alderson

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happy national nacho day

to all of the nachos in my life

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nacho the food not the cat

IMG_1556nacho the cat not the food

ALBERT EINSTEIN

einstein explaining the theory of nachos

you have all made my life so much better

“life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it.” – danny kaye

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strangebeav.com

not me or anyone i know,

but we do share the same room painting technique. 

paint project

in

my loft bedroom 

up high in the cottage

paint clothes on

sweat pants with lost drawstring

falling down

somehow rear end 

gets painted

and

lying back

on my tarp covered bed

moved to the center of the room

painting

the low arched ceiling above

paint on my face 

in my ears

in my hair

nacho the cat not the food

crying downstairs

the whole time

finally coming up

 getting wet paint on him

tracking downstairs

must have been

raised by

depressed

coyotes

he does not meow

like a cat

it is more of a

soulful mourning 

bug flies

into the whirlwind

and creates

a textured wall

head hit

on angled walls

time and time again

arms covered

in splatter

i stand

on tippy-toes

balanced precariously

on the edge of the stairs 

 to reach tiny corners

paint dripping and drying

on wood floor in kitchen below

chip it off

curtain downstairs 

taken off 

to avoid paint

but

rod broken in process

painting quickly 

before the dark of night

when it’s impossible to see up there

in the mood lighting

wow

that’s a lot of color

i can’t wait

to see it

in the daylight

out of paint

put empty can in car

paint gets on seats

goo be gone 

leaves a mark

i’ve decided 

not to become

 a professional

house painter

‘one must act in painting as in life, directly.’ -pablo picasso

 

one doesn’t have a sense of humor. it has you. – larry gelbart

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when i went

to pick out the carpeting

for my bedroom

up in the cozy loft

of the cottage

the woman

helping me

asked

all of

the relevant questions

including

‘is it a high traffic area?’

i looked her in the eye

and

just couldn’t help myself

when i answered

‘well, i am single and it is my bedroom, so wouldn’t that be funny if i said yes?’

she stopped for a minute

looked back at me

with a confused expression

and checked something off on her paper

i’d love to see her notes

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it is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use,

from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes.

– thomas aquinas

if everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. ~ author unknown

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my dear friend carol

who is always full of surprises

has had a demolition derby car named after her

i think that is perfect

and a fine honor, indeed.

not my first rodeo?

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by far

my favorite question

when

purchasing

life insurance

was

‘are you in a rodeo?’

and

 i had

to laugh out loud

for

i’m not a fan

of rodeos

 i feel for the animals

and have no desire

to be

thrown from anything

to rope anything

to be around clowns

in any capacity

i must

look like

a

rodeo gal.

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there are worse things in life than death.

have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

– woody allen

image credit: mycomic.com

“if we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” ― robert frost

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10527670_781783088509436_8722114083465655258_nmy friend

 kind

 funny

 energetic

and

mother of

five wonderful

small children

including

a set of twins

posted this picture

today

along with this message:

“Yep, So, this just happened. Another adventure for the M family!! So much for the other chores that have been piling up.  I got this beautiful heart from my scout troop as a thank you at the end of this year. I had it on a shelf above the toilet. I think a cat knocked it off and into the toilet. I guess the heart is made of concrete, because it is completely unscathed . The toilet on the other hand….” – n.m.

i have to admit

i laughed until i cried

when i saw this

 she was okay with that

 i’m so happy

to know her

and

i blame

the girl scouts

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“i love people who make me laugh. i honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh.

it cures a multitude of ills. it’s probably the most important thing in a person.” 

― audrey hepburn